Scared Of Being Too Happy?

anxiety
This post is liable to be extremely rambly as it’s essentially just a brain dump of all the things that I’ve been feeling recently, so sorry in advance if it doesn’t make too much sense.
For the past few months, I haven’t really felt myself. I’ve been so anxious and nervous and the truth is I’m not entirely sure why; my life has actually been amazing (not in a show-off way, just in a way that makes me feel ungrateful for feeling the way that I do.)
I’ve had amazing travelling opportunities already this year; Budapest and London, and then we’ve booked to go to Venice in July. I got a new job in February which I’m really enjoying. I’ve also been working more on my blog as it’s really giving me a creative outlet, something which I’ve never really had before. And then of course there’s Matt, who’s just the most amazing and supportive person in the whole world.
And yet, there’s still something in me that thinks sad thoughts and anxious thoughts and I can’t decipher why. I recently started taking tablets for my anxiety but if I’m 100% honest, they don’t seem to be doing anything. I don’t know if I’m on the wrong ones or whether I need a higher dosage – I’m not sure.
I’m also not sure what’s causing me to feel like this. Overall, I’m remarkably happy with my life – potentially too happy. And maybe that’s the cause of my anxiety; that I feel like I’m too lucky and happy that it might not last?
How insane is that? That I’m anxious because I’m scared of being too happy.
It’s the most ridiculous thing and I feel perpetually guilty for feeling like this because it just seems like I’m ungratfeul, and I’m so fed up of feeling like this. I don’t want Matt to have to hold me when I’m crying for no reason and I don’t want my parents to worry about me. Because the truth is – nothing is actually wrong.
So why do I feel like this? I’m not even entirely sure of the point of this post, I just felt like I needed to write it all out. And if there’s one thing I’ve learnt this year, it’s that the blogging community is the most amazing, inclusive place in the world.
And that’s why I wanted to share this with you; not to make you feel sorry for me, but to just feel like I’m not the only one who feels like a total melonhead.
I hope this wasn’t too painful to read and I’m sorry that it was so rambly. I will try to post more ‘normal’ content soon, although writing this post really did feel very therapeutic, so who knows? Maybe you’ll see more of these ‘brain dump’ posts over on this little corner of the Internet.
Do you ever feel like I do? Or am I just being completely insane haha? Let me know in the comments or on Twitter @imjustagirl_16.
Advertisements

50 thoughts on “Scared Of Being Too Happy?

  1. Such an inspiring post. Made me think. It is always so great to write what is in your head. Like kind of clean your thoughts. Sometime I do feel like something is wrong coz everything is so perfect but you know, it is like these self-fulfilling prophecy so my advice is not to think about too much! xx corinne

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think it’s a great idea sometimes to just write what you’re thinking. I often feel like I get more anxious the more content I am. I suppose it’s because I feel I have more to lose then. I think you have to own how you feel, acknowledge it, but don’t let it own you. If that makes sense. Hope you’re feeling better soon! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Anxiety comes in all shapes and sizes…and every version of it sucks! I feel like this too, so please don’t feel alone. I get so excited about things and events going on, that I just don’t go ahead with the plan for the fact that it may not live up to my expectations. It’s so odd!

    Steph xx

    Steph’s World | Lifestyle Blog | http://www.stephsworld.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for this comment! It’s the most frustrating thing in the world, because I can be so unbelievably happy, yet so anxious at the same time, so it’s so nice to know I’m not alone xx

      Like

  4. Such a relatable post and I 100% get how you feel. Only a month or so ago I had the conversation with my friend and its quite common I think. Everything is going well and you’re happy and then anxiety hits and you’re convinced something will happen. We all deserve to be happy πŸ™‚ xxxxxxx

    lucylovesbeautyxo.com

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I actually completely agree with you, and I am so glad you wrote this! By the way I am completely in love with your blog here, well done on all your hard work with it! x

    adelelydia.blogspot.com

    Like

  6. Aww this is so relatable. I recently got a house, got engaged and found a job I loved and a lot of good things were happening but I still didn’t feel ‘right’. I think it may not be from being happy but more so from change. I found my whole life changed this year and that was the reason for feeling anxious.

    Kumbear Xo

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I hope you feel better soon. I’ve felt similar before – often when I feel kind of ‘lost’ in life and that I’m not on the path I should be, I get very anxious and panicky. I guess there are many different forms of anxiety that people don’t even realise really x

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I hope you start to feel better soon. Unfortunately we don’t always know what brings​ on feelings of anxiety and sadness, all we can do is work through it. But you did the right thing in letting it out on here. We’re all here for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. As someone who also has anxiety I can definitely relate to what you’re feeling, I feel it all the time. It’s not that I’m ungrateful for everything that is currently in my life but sometimes it’s too scary to be happy all the time haha.

    skinnydecxflatte.blogspot.com xo

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Thank you for being so open and honest with us, Chloe! Posts like this are so important because they really show other people who might be feeling the same way that they’re not alone! I hope that writing this brought you some comfort, I find that letting these sorts of feelings out, rather than bottling them up, is the way to go!

    Abbey 😘 http://www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I honestly feel the same at the moment, and sometimes even though you are doing the things you enjoy, doing too much can also make you feel anxious. I try to listen to my meditation apps at the end of the day, just so my body and mind have a way of relaxing and calming down.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This is so me to a tee! The amount of times I’m upset or crying and when Tom asks me I literally don’t have an answer because I don’t know!

    I love how honest this post is and just know I’m here to talk!

    Chloe x
    Thengguidetolondon.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s